=(

Well as most of you know by now

I was very depressed on Thursday

When we got home from school on Wednesday, my mom had my brother and I sit on the couch because she had something to tell us

all of the sudden she starts to cry

and tells us that Maggie has been hit by a car and she didn't make it

We sat there in shock for a minute

and then my brother and I start to cry

and I cried for quite a while

but then we went shopping to get our mind off of it

but on our way home

my dad called and he wanted to know what was going on

and I started to cry again

then later i had muni band

and that wasn't a very good distraction

Then came Thursday

I had been regretting telling everyone

Mr. Vowels noticed that i was depressed during band

and so he got it out of me, and i started to cry

then next period i didn't want to tell anyone

so i just wrote a note

i just couldn't take it

so i would really like to thank everyone for the great support

because i felt so terrible

and sorry Elizabeth for not actually telling you, but it was soooo hard

Our house is so empty

She doesn't come to the door when i walk in

our sit by our feet at dinner

the house is lonely

and it didn't help that we just got rid of our furniture so it was literally empty too

it was the worst day in a veryyyy loooong time

I felt much better today

and after school we went back to the place where we got Maggie and looked for a new puppy

and we have one picked out

and we will get her next Friday

she looks just like Maggie

even the same markings

we haven't picked out a name yet

but we shall eventually

the one on the right^

so thanks so much again for being so amazing

Life in general

Well, school is winding to a halt
and activities have stopped
and i have absolutly nothing to do
im not involved in anything anymore
and i am bored to death
in a few weeks i am getting a moped
yay
so i will be able to cruise around town
yippee
Today is Memorial Day
we marched in two parades
and it was super hot
i had sweat dripping down my back
it was disgusting
but i lived
so its all good

on a different note
we really need to have a party
we have all had a lot of changes this year
but especially a lot recently
and we are all talking behind each others back again
(don't even deny it)
so we all need to get together and let everything out
how we feel about each person
why we love them and what bothers us
and get everything off our chests
but not feel bad because it's the truth and we need to hear it
we have all been talking about how we need to tell each other the truth and how we should get together
but it never actually happens
so we seriously need to have a party
soon

love Nicole

Oh WOW

well i personally thought that dance was pretty ok
i didn't sit in a corner and cry so thats always a good thing
but it wasn't very exciting
but ooh the drama, i suppose
everyone is just being bitchy (again)
this has been happening a lot lately
and it's getting really annoying
we really need to just tell people how we feel
i know im not really one to talk
because i don't really tell people how i feel either
but maybe i/we should start
next time some one annoys the crap out of you, tell them
and maybe they'll understand

and if you're the one being told you're annoying
don't be a bitch and get whining
understand where they're coming from and try to be a better, less annoying person

i know im a terrible writer and that this doesn't really make sense
but hopefully you get what i am trying to say

Life

So Jordan remined me to look at my livejournal
so i did
I basically wrote about how much my life sucked
about how everyone has bf's except me, which is still true
and how i never had dates to any of the dances
and about every other post i wrote about being over him or still liking him
it was actually really depressing how boys ruled my life
but then i kind of realized: boys have been the focus of all of my friends lives almost all year.
that's almost all we talk about
and lately it seems it has been getting worse
yea guys are nice, but boyfriends come and go, and friends are always there for you
And i know that if everyone keeps putting other people before me constantly, i'm not gonna want to even bother anymore

come on ladies: Chicks before Dicks
hang out with your true friends, you don't always have to talk about/make-out with him all the time
chill with the girls!

well after reading my livejournal, i realized nothing really happened to me at all, almost all of my posts started out with "Well life is boring as usual" or something like that. Nothing happened to me, and if something did happen, it was bad
That's why the past few weeks have been so amazing for me
I have actually been truly happy for the first time all school year. At the end of the summer i was so excited for high school, a change, a chance for a new beginning, but none of that happened...
The past few weeks have been so great!
We are alternates for Nationals, which is huge
then we won an extra award for economic development for History Day
in addition to all of that Mrs Thorson won the teacher of the year award. which she really deserved
we don't always like her (like almost never) but she does work really hard and it's her last year
I got a solo in band
and we got a rating I and stover cried which is an accomplishment in itself
i get to be one of five sophomores in symphonic band next year
which is so exciting for me because this was a huge goal of mine all year
but it does hurt when people try to tear me down and make me feel bad about something that i worked so hard at
And i have also been spending a bunch of time with the peeps i love the most
I am actually happy
and it feels good

so next time you are feeling like your life is so terrible, don't think about the bad things, remember all the good things that have happened to you
or just look at your Happy List

Lots of Love
Nicole

I haven't written on here for a while
which is kinda the way most of my blogs lately have started
but im just not deep/creative enough to have anything interesting to say

i would just like to say that the party and show last night was very fun